Dosa gugur apabila suami, isteri bersalam.....

Assalamualaikum ...peringatan pada malam ini...terbaca artikel ini & rasa amat trtarik dengannya dan harap dapat berkongsi sesuatu sebagai panduan kita dalam kehidupan harian sebagai suami dan isteri.....

RASULULLAH saw bersabda, yang bermaksud: "Seorang isteri yang bermuka muram di hadapan suaminya, maka ia dalam kemurkaan Allah hingga ia dapat membuat suasana yang riang gembira kepada suaminya dan memohon kerelaannya."

Begitulah besarnya harga senyuman seorang isteri kepada suaminya kerana senyuman akan mencetuskan suasana kegembiraan yang sebenarnya dikehendaki suami ketika pulang dalam keletihan.

Muka yang masam bukan saja akan menimbulkan kemarahan suami, malahan menyebabkan Allah turut murka dan kemurkaan Allah itu berkekalan hingga isteri berjaya mengembalikan suasana gembira serta memohon keampunan daripada suami.

Sesungguhnya keredaan Allah terletak pada keredaan suami. Justeru, apabila suami pulang segeralah bukakan pintu, persilakan masuk dengan penuh hormat dan ciumlah tangan suami sebagai tanda hormat serta meminta maaf, walaupun isteri merasakan tidak berbuat sebarang kesalahan pada hari itu.

Sebuah hadis ada menyebut bahawa apabila seorang suami bersalaman dengan isterinya, maka gugurlah segala dosa dari celah-celah jari mereka berdua.
Andai mempunyai anak-anak, ajarlah mereka itu untuk selalu bersalaman dengan ayahnya kerana kelaziman akan memupuk rasa kasih dan hormat anak-anak kepada orang tua.
Kebahagiaan rumahtangga terletak pada akhlak dan budi pekerti isteri. Biarpun seorang isteri itu tidak cantik tapi jika cukup sempurna layanannya terhadap suami dan berakhlak pula, tentu ia akan menjadi penghibur dalam rumahtangga.

Oleh itu wahai isteri, hendaklah berlumba-lumba untuk menjadi seorang isteri yang solehah, yang bertakwa, berakhlak mulia dan taat kepada suami.
Rasulullah bersabda, yang bermaksud: "Sungguh-sungguh memintakan ampun untuk seorang isteri yang berbakti kepada suaminya, iaitu burung-burung di udara, ikan-ikan di air dan malaikat di langit selama dia sentiasa dalam kerelaan suaminya."

Jika seorang isteri mengharap cintanya berbalas, maka banyakkan mencari keredaan Allah melalui keredaan suami.....

So, apa lagi, marilah kita sama-sama amalkannya agar kehidupan rumahtangga menjadi lebih terselah dan cerah sentiasa...di samping itu kita dapat mendidik anak-anak kita yang semakin remaja untuk melakukannya setelah mereka sendiri berumahtangga kelak...akhlak yang mulia akan menyinari kerukunan alam perkahwinan yang mungkin telah kita lalui untuk selama 20 tahun atau lebih...sesungguhnya  semakin lama alam perkahwinan ini, semakin ada perasaan sayang-menyayangi, cinta-mencintai dan bukan sekadar melepaskan keperluan sahaja....semakin tua, semakin sayang..itulah sepatutnya diamalkan oleh kita semua...betul tak ????  

 Tak kiralah kalau suami memang kepala angin atau terlalu berang, kita terima lah dirinya seadanya...dan redha dengan pilihan yang kita buat....layaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnjer kerenahnya dan banyak-banyaklah berdoa agar beliau akan menjadi lebih memahami dan pandai menjaga hati diri kita jua...InsyaAllah...

 MaMaZuE

Jangan lah Mengeluh.....berdoa dan bermunajat kepadaNYa adalah lebih baik....

Assalamualaikum.....dalam kepenatan sepanjang hari ini, rasanya masih ada tenaga untuk menyumbang entri ke blog kesayangan aku hari ini...jom baca pasal mengeluh ni...seronok jugak sebab memang merata-rata sepanjang hari kalau kat ofis memang adalah suara-suara yang penuh dengan keluhan termasuk diri ku ini akibat terlalu banyak kerja....kerja-kerja yang tidak mungkinn boleh habis dalam masa 8 jam bekerja...

......apatah lagi, career macam aku ini...if dah dok dalam court mendengar perbicaraan sepanjang hari, pagi dan petang, macam mana nak habis kerja harian...memang tidak akan siap punya..tertangguh pulak keesookan hari...aduiiiii..ni pun dah start mengeluh ek....

Ini lah scenario yang biasa kita lihat dan dengar setiap hari....

Di sana mengeluh. Di sini mengeluh. Dimana-mana semuanya serba mengeluh. Mengapa orang-orang begitu hobi mengeluh ya?


Mudah sekali bagi kita untuk menemukan orang-orang mengeluh. Nampaknya mudah sekali untuk mengeluh. Selalu ada saja bahan yang dikeluhkan.

“Hari ini sial sekali…”
“Aduh, hari ini kedai ku sepi…”
“Hampeh...hari ini aku dimarahi…”
“Hujan pulak dah…Huh!”
“Hari ini panas teriknya.....”
Dan seterusnya….

Demikian pula di Facebook, mudah sekali kita menemukan update status yang bernada keluhan dan bermaksud negatif.

“Hari ini membosankan ”
“Orang itu sombong…Grrr”
“Panaasss banget hari ini… :( ”
“ Pelajaran yang membosankan… @@ “
Dan lain-lain…


Pertanyaannya, apakah mengeluh membuat kita lebih bahagia?


Disedari atau tidak, semakin kita mengeluh, ternyata membuat kita  rasanya semakin “menderita” . Demikian juga dengan orang yang mendengar keluhan kita, apakah mereka senang mendengar orang mengeluh? Atau mereka juga “tertular” emosi negatif, jadinya malah ikut-ikutan mengeluh ?


Seandainya aku mau mengurangi mengeluh dan memperbanyak kata-kata positif, apakah aku akan lebih bahagia?


Dan bila disuruh memilih, aku lebih senang mendengar kata-kata positif atau mendengar orang mengeluh? :)

Akhirkata, kita sendiri pun sokmo mengeluh....apabila terlalu banyak kerja, kerja x dan nak siap, asyik berbicara siang dan malam, merungut nak masak apa, merungut nak pakai apa...dan macam-macam lagi.....itulah yang di namakan manusia.....keluhan adalah satu perasaan....perasaan yang tidak boleh dipisahkan dari diri kita sendiri...w/apa pun, kita hendaklah sendiri menyedari bahawa mengeluh adalah satu perbuatan yang tidak baik untuk diamalkan....bila mengeluh, kita adalah dalam keadaan yang penuh dengan frustrations yang akan menganggu perjalanan kehidupan kita.....

Jadi, sebaik-baik nasihat adalah lebih baik kita banyakkan berdoa dan bersyukur kepadaNya daripada terus menerus mengeluh kebosanan atau mengeluh kesepian atau mengeluh kekecewaan... Beringatlah bahawa segala musibah yang berlaku ke atas kita, adalah ujian Allah semata-mata iaitu untuk menguji sejauh mana keimaman dan kesabaran kita....Di sebelah permasalahan, akan tetap ada hikmah dan ganjaran yang akan dikurniakan....oleh itu, kita hendaklah menjadi insan yang penuh dengan kesabaran walaupun kesabaran ini ada had-hadnya....Hilangkan rasa stress dan kemurungan kita dengan membaca Al-Quran, melakukan sembahyang sunat, berzikir dan berdoa kepada NYA.....

 

 

 

 

 

MaMaZuE

Give and take....a little word called balance...

 

 

Assalamualaikum and a very good evening to all my fellow friends out there…

I just thought of presenting an article about “give and take” coz I think this is something that most people are lack of at present. Most of us are so possessive in a relationship …a marriage or friendship…we should be practicing this concept as to strengthen our relationship…it applies to parenting too…if we start this concept of give and take at home , then our children won’t  be so possessive and they will grow up to be a wiser person in the future…

Something we hear a lot, "Love is give and take", or "Life is give and take".

I do agree to both, but there are limits to both. There's only One person you can't outgive, and that would be our Creator. For the rest, too bad, so sad.

A good way to get someone's attention, is to give. Buying a gift for that hot little secretary might do the trick. Then she'll feel like she needs to give something back, even if it's just an email saying "Thank you".

Then, for the take part, and this is where the girls are really good at. They either take everything a guy has to offer, or they force the guy to take all the things no one else will want to take, get what I'm saying?

Yes, life is give and take. Love is give and take. Relationships are give and take. Conversations are give and take. Even most of our daily activities can be classified as give and take. But thewre's a lesson behind all this...

A little word called balance.

Well, let me explain further….

Every relationship needs give and take between two people to truly be a relationship. The term "give and take" is not new. It's a simple idea that says that to have a productive and satisfying relationship you can't just do all the taking or all the giving all the time.

Unfortunately in reality many relationships are either: "You give and I'll take" or "I'll give and you take". If you are doing all the planning of dates, paying all the expenses, sharing and repairing relationships you are giving too much. If a relationship feels like too much work on your part, you feel like you're squeezing water from a stone, or the person requires a lot of nurturing to extract even a small amount of value, you're not in a "love" relationship, you are giving too much.

When your giving is taking too much out of you and threatens to destabilize your very person, then you are trying to give more than you are capable of. If you allow yourself to be drained of energy you will have less to give to a deserving man or woman and may find yourself passing up good men and women because of the experiences of your past. If you allow one or more experiences to make you cynical, then you have given more than you were capable of and it has made you less than who you were. This is giving more than you are capable of giving. To open yourself to others is often rewarding but is only as good as the value it adds to who you are.

If you are giving because your help is needed (in sickness or crisis) then simply accept the relationship for what it is. Your giving will add value to who you are but may not translate into a relationship with that person. And if your "generosity" has strings attached (like hoping you can subtly buy his/her affections) then it's really not very generous. And don't lie to yourself it's not likely to work out. You will probably end up disappointed.

One-sided relationships have a devastating effect on your self-esteem. No matter how good your self-esteem "GIVE and GIVE" relationships have their own constraints which make having productive and satisfying relationship impossible.

My people have a saying: Who you are is related to how much you give of yourself without losing sight of who you are. Giving who you are to the extent that you empty yourself onto the laps of others only makes you insignificant and "invisible" in the relationship. And when there seems to be only one person in the relationship an disequilibrium in energy distribution happens and when that energy distribution exceeds certain limits, a state of instinctual emotional "distancing" begins to happen.

It is best to minimize the possibility of regret by making sure that you choose people capable of "give and take" relationships. My website give invaluable insight into choosing the "right" people, including separating high-potential dates from energy drainers, types of relationships that will not last long, warning signs that you may be in a relationship in which you are loving him/her more than you are being loved, how to identify who is capable of give and take relationships, etc. My desire is for all of us to be able to choose partners we can have the pleasure of "playing" with rather than against or playing for....insyaAllah...

MaMaZuE

 

True real friends double your happiness and half your burden.........

hAi...everyone....

It's nice to have a true friend beside you but you of course have to learn how to be a true friend to others. Reciprocation is the key!

Please listen to the song below while reading the article......

True real friends double your happiness and half your burdens. Basically how you would like a true real friend to be, you should be like this to your true friends. Trust, forgiveness, accountability are some ingredients of a true friend. True friendships are hard to come by. And what's more, life is short. So treasure these friends if you have already have them. If you don't continue to search, because once you have them, life becomes so much easier to live, no matter what happens. I have been through pretty rough patches and I dare say, without my friends I would not have made it.

Friendships need lots of energy and patience to maintain them. Not to mention time too. When your friend needs you, sometimes when things are not going too well on your side, it is often so easy to turn a deaf ear to their pleas. It is especially during these times, that you must find the strength in you to help your friend. And it is during these times that your friendship will be forged and made stronger.

And you must always be happy for their successes, even when things are not going too well on your side. It might be hard to do for some people but it is something that you need to learn. Think about all the sacrifices your friend has made for you and all the times when he or she was happy for you despite his or her own troubles.

Think about all the happy times you all enjoyed and the sad, rough times you all went through together. That should give you sufficient patience to actually be a true friend for them. Remember, true friends are the next best thing to family. They will always be your pillar of support no matter what. Always.

Real friends are hard to find but i think i have a real true friend at this stage of life...eventhough there were many who had left me with sweet memories as they were all far apart living with their family and have alife of their own ...no matter what it is, they are still my true friends in school or at work...do cherished our moments together back then.....

A friend whom i mentioned above knows me and family well and so is her family.. we are more like a family as my children are like hers and her children are like my own....we shared many things together. We cried, we laughed, we travelled, we camped and we had the best memories ever together.....Deep down in my heart & soul , i just can't tell how I love her & family...She is like a shoulder to cry on....She's there for me everytime i was in trouble and same goes to me. with her...and reciprocation works in our relationship and friendship...give and take in maintaining the friendship for a very long time.....our friendship started around 1993 or 1994...May Allah strengthen our friendship  forever and ever....

Thank you dear friend for being my friend in my life.. a friend in need is a friend indeed!!!!

THAT'S FOR TONITE.....

mAmAzUe

Why Honesty is the BEST policy.....

Salam to all.....this topic is quite interesting....so much so, there are a number of liars surrounding us...we could name them as pretenders....pretend to be a good samaritan but vice versa....how's that????

"Just one, little white lie, that's all." How many times have we all said this in our head, and then later deeply regret it. The little white lie that you drop in the midst of a situation can turn into an enormous headache in a very short time. Lies must be maintained, and sometimes over long periods of time. They can come back to haunt us as well, in a single question that if we answer wrong turns the tables and shows clearly our deceit. Honesty, on the other hand, doesn't have to be maintained. It is not always pretty, or kind, but once said it is just what it is, the truth - nothing more, nothing less.

This is why honesty is truly the best policy. When you take responsibility for actions that you have committed, or give your account of a situation in an honestly reasonable manner, you not only gain respect but trust.. Trust is a key factor in our society today, and at times is hard to find. Truth is an essential in any career field: business, government, teaching, art, whatever you do, honesty can have a huge impact on your ability to make a living. Some people get by quickly and successfully telling a lie here or there, but just as quickly lose what they gained when the lie is exposed - as it almost always is.

Also, truth does not harm even if it may seem so when you tell it. In the long run, it benefits. Lies can cause pain, damage relationships of all types, and makes the person lying eventually feel guilt for what they have done. If you consider the people in your life that you most respect and would trust with your life, one of the first qualities about them that you can name is that they are honest.

When you earn something by honest work and actions it is so much more meaningful than when you achieve it dishonestly. Cheating on a test might garner you an "A" grade, but it is not a true reflection of yourself. When you have studied and worked hard, passing the same test with an "A" that you have truly earned, you have something to be proud of.

One thing to also consider about honesty is the little eyes that watch everyone taller than them each day in every action and word: our children. They absorb not only what we do, but how we do it. Children are remarkable at gauging when someone is lying to them or to another. They also copy what they see in someone they admire. If we model honesty, we will have an honest world. The other side of the coin is one of irresponsibility, and people growing up thinking that manipulating others is acceptable. Honesty also lets us know where we stand in relation to others. Instead of telling someone else what they want to know, simply be honest. This keeps resentment from boiling up inside that can later explode, causing damage to a once wonderful relationship.

Honesty does not have to be blunt and rude, either. There are tactful ways to tell someone how you feel, or to give advice. Constructive criticism is one of the most useful tools in learning, and when given tactfully and honestly, it can greatly benefit another to improve some aspect of him or herself.

In basic context, if you want to tell stories be a writer. Living an honest life to the best of your ability is one of the most honorable and kindest services that anyone can give to humanity. It helps us to keep avenues of communication open, an atmosphere of trust to pervade, and keeps people closer together in a more peaceful environment.

mAmAzUe

Thank you to all my teachers and my sons' teachers tooo.....

It's 16th May, 2011.....it's d nation's celebration for all teachers out there....

It's a day specially dedicated to all teachers..thank you so much to all my teachers who were in Convent , Muar from 1969 - 1979.....(my year one to Form Five)....I had my best education there and really had wonderful time with all the wonderful teachers then....so caring and loving...we were just like friends....My principal  during my primary years, late Mrs Danker my principal  during my secondary years , late Sister Marie Theresa were like a mother to all of us.  They treated us like their own children even though we are of different races and religion...I really felt honoured and is really thankful to all of them who had been my teacher during my school life..

I had then moved to Sultan Abu Bakar Girl's School for my Form Six but I left school before my i finished my upper Six and joined the Courts to be a Court Interpreter....My late father had wanted me to be a teacher once coz a friend of him could get me thru but I declined because I hate teaching at that time....ha ha ha.....but i'd always been a teacher to my sons till today...as i spent half of my time at home teaching, guiding, assisting and monitoring them almost every nite from 8 - 10 pm..except during the weekends....i had sacrificed my time of watching TV but sat with them in the study room, checked their homeworks or gave them my own work...a teacher too only not by proffession....I was really strict then that they were so scared of me then....

That was my efforts for all my sons...Thank God, they are what they are now...Parents should not left everything to the school teachers to guide their children...we, as parents esp mothers should helped in guiding our own children....teachers won't have enough time to do everything for our kids...so, let's help the teachers for the sake of our children....

Here, I would like to thank all the teachers and lectures in Tadika Seri Budi Kemaman, Sek Kebangsaan Sultan Ismail, Chukai, Kemaman, Sek Menengah Sultan Ismail II, Kemaman, MRSM Besut, MRSM Kuala Lipis, Sek. Men Sains, Muar, UITM Shah Alam, UITM Kuantan and UNISZA....and also to our private tutors, Mrs Yong and Mr Chia who had done their very best to lead my sons to the right path.....Eventhough, I had not seen the REAL RESULT yet but i could forecast what is their future by now....

Before I pen off, I would like to post a question....Have you ever wondered what the qualities of a really professional teacher are? I know that all teachers want their students to like them, but being liked isn't the be-all and end-all really, is it? I mean teachers have to make some unpopular decisions sometimes.

Teachers can be popular just because they are friendly and helpful, but to be truly professional and effective they need other qualities. Students may not be able to put their finger on just why one teacher is more effective than another but we need to be able to identify the skills and behavior we require in a true professional.

A professional teacher needs to be confident without being arrogant. Nobody can expect to have all the answers, so if a student asks a real stinker, the professional teacher should be able to admit defeat but offer to find out more for the student. And they must carry that promise out.

Proper preparation is another crucial requirement of professionalism. When the teacher enters the classroom s/he should have all the required materials and the lesson plan ready. Nothing is more sloppy than poor preparation.

Interaction with the group needs professional standards of behavior: polite, firm and fair just about sum it up. And in orchestrating the class the teacher must give everyone their chance to contribute and should be flexible enough to modify lessons if they are obviously not going to plan. Indeed a fall-back position is part of good planning.

It stands to reason also that teacher must observe punctuality and appropriate tidiness and dress: it is not possible to demand such behavior from students if the teacher doesn’t set the standards. Indeed I can remember occasions on which students have complained to me about “scruffy” teachers.

The last thing I would mention is that teachers should be able to feel that their professionalism entitles them to back-up from the school directors. If a teacher has a problem class or student then the school should have procedures for handling the difficulties. The teacher should not have to feel alone and vulnerable if a difficult situation arises. So, yes, professionalism cuts both ways: in the standards we demand of teachers and the framework we have for giving them support.

Well, that's it for the day and here is a special poem dedicate to all teachers....

With a special gift for learning

And with a heart that deeply cares,

You add a lot of love

To everything you share,

And even though

You mean a lot,

You’ll never know how much,

For you helped
To change the world
Through every life you touched.
You sparked the creativity

In the students whom you taught,
And helped them strive for goals
That could not be bought,
You are such a special teacher
That no words can truly tell
However much you’re valued

For the work you do so well.

 

 

Nice song to all teachers...

MaMaZuE