Story one:
An elderly gentleman, had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was
able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that
allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must
be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I
just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've
changed my will three times!"
Story two:
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and
says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches
and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a new born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Story three:
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and
after eating, the wives left the table and went into the
kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last
night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really
great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is
the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You
know . . . The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned
towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of
that restaurant we went to last night?"
Story four:
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients
being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse,
I f ound one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting
on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he
didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me
wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the
bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
Story five:
Couple in their nineties are both having problems
remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them
that they're physically okay, but they might want to start
writing things down to help them remember
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up
from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he
asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you
should write it down, so's not to forget it?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream
with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget
that, write it down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can
remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream -
I got it, for goodness sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a
plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast?"
Story six:
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
Story seven:
Three old gals are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
Story eight:
A woman was telling her neighbor, "I just bought a new
hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's
state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
Story nine:
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the
street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of
days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot
mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a
heart murmur; be careful."
One more . . .!
A littl e old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After
catching his breath, he ordered a banana split..
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
Story seven:
Three old gals are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
Story eight:
A woman was telling her neighbor, "I just bought a new
hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's
state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
Story nine:
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the
street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of
days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're
really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot
mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a
heart murmur; be careful."
One more . . .!
A littl e old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor
and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After
catching his breath, he ordered a banana split..
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."
So...just wishing that we won't grow old to be like one of them....i don't intend to live until 80's or 90's..it will be hell of a time....hopefully, we are as strong as we are now....at heart, in the soul and mind....if i were to live up to that age,hopefully, i'll still be a facebooker, a googler, a blogger and whatever in connection with the internets to gain more knowledge and get more information about life and life after death....more tazkirah to be read...more religous books by the side of the bed...May God gives me the full strength to move on and on......amin...
MaMaZuE
